Art galleries have been sorely lacking in our magnificent city of late. With the dragon’s coming most artists fled, while those who remained found their works seriously depreciated in value thanks to the fraudulent works of one known only as “The Black Cat”. However, it is this critic’s second-greatest pleasure (the first being a bucket of wine on Bloodwater Beach) to review the newest entry into the Gran Soren art scene.

The gallery was established by one Artie Hespifina in order to honour the works of the reclusive artist known only as YoruPoru. Said artist uses a technique known as “screenshotting” to quickly and effectively capture images of our fair land, and for the first time these works have been gathered in one place, the YoruPoru Gallery.

The first challenge is reaching the gallery, which is located in another world in a place called Port Vila, though the effort certainly pays dividends. A handily placed portcrystal now provides easy passage, though this reviewer hears earlier visitors from our own world had to traverse the rift, dodging harpies and dragons of both the Urgh and the Ur variety. Access, however, is far easier for native inhabitants of Port Vila’s world using a version of the rift powered by what one must assume are wishes, RC, and Pablos’s home brew. It is called the “inter-web.”

The premiere expedition is known as “The Adventures of the Team of Crazies,” a title that soon becomes apparent upon entering.

The visitor is first confronted with a lavish desk detailing the labours behind creating such an endeavour. An intimidating woman donning armour not from this time or place and wearing a strange crown that outshines even Duke Edmun’s manned the front desk. She bore a strange resemblance to a woman in the gallery’s pictures, though any requests for information were met with replies of “Tis weak to fire!” and “Wolves hunt in packs!” Information to be sure, but not what this critic was seeking. This was followed by insinuations that my own knowledge stars must be lacking in the YoruPoru Gallery area. As it was my first visit, of course they were. Though by the end of the tour they would surely reach 3.

I first purchased a reasonably priced sour ambrosial meat with a red wine/white wine/sobering wine/bucket combo at the giftshop and began my tour, also purchasing a work table upon which to work on this review. I also mentally noted what other quality merchandise to purchase upon leaving.

My first stop was the “Team of Crazies” room. What better way to find out just what the titular team was all about? Here one can view pictures of the main Crazies, whose relationship is detailed in the wall-to-wall display beside the information desk. Soft lighting, including coils of light, is the order of the day here, with scenes showing our team waging battle with both their turbulent emotions and unseen foes, each confrontation exploding forth in fire, fulmination, and fine cooking. Melina and Nithron feature heavily, and their gentle moments together show even the most cold or absent-hearted amongst us *cough*The Arisen*cough* that even pawns can display some vestiges of real emotion.

Next up was the Grumpus Room. This room displayed pictures of one “Daimon”, a creature as of yet unseen on the mainland. And, if the bizarre treatment of this crazy group is anything to go by, the poor creature daren’t ever leave his sheltered frozen demesne. This Grumpus, as the artist calls him, is here depicted in stages of assault and forced inebriation, acts which no doubt have led to his sadness. Said sadness is so great it has manifested itself as another sad face upon his tummy. And yet this Team, whose moniker becomes more fitting with each passing picture of torment, insist on hurting him... But in hurting this gentle, immortal creature, one cannot help but think they are only hurting themselves. Perhaps the artist was trying to express the futile way in which we, countless myriad souls, all wage war against the passing of days. Or perhaps she just likes seeing innocent beings suffer.

However, this reviewer was glad to find he had since become the namesake for a line of extremely efficient toilets, some of which were installed in this very gallery. Now who has had the last belly-laugh? I really must remember to purchase a Grumpus puppet on the way out.

Next stop was the portrait room. As any person of refined taste knows, the portrait is one of the hardest works to “screencap”. Yet here again the artist has excelled, capturing the essence of various companions under captivating lighting conditions. Indeed, one need only wander into the OPSC even now to see some of these faces in the flesh, though sadly many have since departed this world. Such is the nature of pawns, yes? This gallery does make one reflect upon one’s mortality within this cycle of eternal return. Pawns and humans may come and go, like bubbles in a mountain spring, but the memories and their images will always stay with us. Mayhap the artist intended only to capture the character of these fleeting creations, but it appears she also captured the fleeting nature of our own lives. Or perhaps it’s the bucket of wine talking?

The Action Photos room more than lived up to its name, showing the artist’s pawn companions loosing arrows, blows, and, of course, METEORS! It offered a stark contrast to the previous room, displaying pawns at their finest moments. After all, not having a true soul doesn’t mean a pawn can’t at least, to use the common parlance, “kick arse”. And, believe me, these pawns are delivering plenty of kicks (and flaming space-rocks) to hindquarters. Which brings me to my next stop.

Next up was the bathroom, for... reasons. Both male and female bathrooms were impeccable, due in part to the ogre attendants. However, one must question the wisdom of staffing the female rooms with ogres and the male rooms with elder ogres. It seems the creator of this gallery is sorely lacking in ogre knowledge stars. However, the walls were tastefully decorated with pictures of the very attendants who were present. The artworks were certainly illuminating, and a visiting gentleman from Meloire seemed quite taken by some. He soon hurried out to buy his own vile eye flashlight from the giftshop. One must only hope that the picture of an eliminator does not reflect what happens to those who consume the sour ambrosial meat special in the giftshop, as I did upon entering.

Yet it was here that I witnessed firsthand the toilets named after Daimon (or “Grumpus” to this Team). The flush was extremely effective, removing both waste and my entire stamina bar. I think I also saw a visiting pawn disappearing down the Interdimensional Flush (tm), a device with the wonderful tagline “Naught shall remain!”. Perhaps the curator can install a half-flush option to avoid future bodybags?

The Group Photos room was much like the portrait room, only doubled. Here there were even more pawns from the disparate worlds captured in fleeting moments together, passing like ships in the night. Nevertheless, the skill involved in taking such “screenshots” of friend pawns in acts of simultaneous rest and synchronous spellcasting must have taken an effort far beyond this simple critic’s ken. Both the intensity of pawn teamwork and simple companionship are wonderfully captured in this room. An ode to brief moments shared in this eternal ring, or pretty pictures of pawns? Only the viewer can truly decide.

Growing weary, and with bowels ravaged from a meal of sour ambrosial meat that had somehow turned rotten, this critic next visited the A Crazies World room. Here the images are far more relaxed. In this room one can find everything from simple relaxing images of the world our crazy friends inhabit, to incredible details of the foes they encounter. Battle is a frantic affair, as this reviewer hears, but these pictures capture even that chaos in their stillness. Whether you believe the Maker or some other force is behind this world or worlds, looking at these images it is hard to deny that they at least put a lot of detail into things unnoticed by all but those with an eye like YoruPoru. And thanks to said artist, even someone as simple as myself can appreciate such details. This critic has spent many a night sharing a cup on Cassardis’s beach drinking until the sun comes up, and one picture in this gallery captures both the sadness of losing a night, and the joy of gaining a new day to do it all again. Like new game plus.

After another visit to the bathrooms, bowels thoroughly ravaged, this critic needed some air. A trip to the courtyard was in order, but here the greatest crowds were gathered. They were so great that I couldn’t catch even a simple glance within. What horrors laid in this space? The only clues came from the shouts of the gathered crowd. “Duke Cuddlington could stand to commission some new hugs!” “Yes, you CAN haz wiquid vims!” “Tis weak to tummy scratches!”

Something far more horrifying than Bitterblack Isle, no doubt.

Second to last stop was the game room, where one can play a puzzle game to rearrange pieces of one of the wonderful artworks to complete the picture. Here YoruPoru engages the viewer, inviting them to go through the same effort she did to create the perfect shot. Is the artist making some sort of commentary, making the viewer become an active part of creating art? Or is this simply a mere game? Whate’er meaning these puzzles hold, they make men deaf to all reason. And, if one wants to have any hope of completing the quiz 100%, they must surely pay a visit to the other gallery located on a strange land cast fore’er adrift in the rift, known as yoruporu.imgur.com.
(Critic’s note, to be deleted from final copy: Do I get paid that 50,000 RC now?)

The last stop, like the first, was again the giftshop. A Grumpus puppet was a must-buy for my niece Symone, and with a set of googly eyes on both the head and stomach, was great value. A chatty Cattleya doll was considered, but those incessant lines would drive even the stoutest of minds to madness. The only omission was a replica of the Crazies' signature Jester's Cap, though none but the Crazies (or those who have purchased the DLC) are worthy of becoming dear warriors of the lovely helm. Still, a wide range of quirky gifts to be sure, but please note that the store does NOT accept RC or gold.

And so concludes the most interesting tour this critic has taken, in Gran Soren or beyond the Rift. Words cannot do justice to the effort and patience that went into this undertaking, all seemingly for the love of capturing the beauty of our world and its pawns. Just remember to sign the guestbook, as the artist receives no recompense, gold or RC, for her works. Or cram a bottle of Pablos's finest in the suggestion box.